110. Why You Have No Motivation in Perimenopause (What Most Coaches Get Wrong)
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If you feel like you have no motivation to work out, eat healthy, stay consistent, or take care of yourself in perimenopause, this episode is for you. In today’s conversation, I’m breaking down why low motivation in your 40s isn’t a discipline problem – but a physiology problem.
We’re diving into how declining estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, blood sugar dysregulation, stress, and cortisol imbalances can create a cascade effect that impacts your energy, sleep, cravings, anxiety, workouts, and overall resilience. I also explain why lifestyle changes still matter deeply – but for some women, hormones and nervous system support need to be addressed first.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why low estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can impact motivation, energy, and stress tolerance
- The connection between cortisol dysregulation, anxiety, poor sleep, cravings, and burnout in perimenopause
- Why “just be more disciplined” is often the wrong advice for women in midlife
- The cascade effect of hormonal depletion on metabolism, workouts, recovery, and consistency
- Why supporting hormones, blood sugar, and the nervous system can make healthy habits feel doable again
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Why This Isn’t Just a Motivation Problem
If you feel like you have no motivation to work out, eat well, or stay consistent—even though you know what to do—this episode is for you.
Because what I see over and over again with women in their 40s…is this belief that it’s a discipline, motivation or mindset problem.
That you just need to try harder and be more consistent.
And I call bullshit on that.
Because a lot of the advice in the wellness space completely misses what’s actually happening in your body during perimenopause.
Now before I continue, let me be clear…
Your Foundation Still Matters
I am a huge advocate of a healthy diet and lifestyle. Hello, I’ve been a health coach for over 13 years helping women implement healthier choices.
You do need:
- Adequate protein and carbs
- Moderate fats
- Enough calories for your activity level
- Strength training
- Daily movement
- Sleep & recovery
- Proper hydration
That is what I call your foundation – which I teach to clients and will continue to prioritize.
But here’s the part that’s missing: you cannot out-discipline a depleted body.
What Hormone Changes Actually Feel Like
A lot of you are trying to be consistent…in a body that simply does not have that “get up and go”
When your hormones start shifting in perimenopause, it creates a ripple effect across your entire system.
This isn’t just about “feeling off” – your body is missing key hormones and nutrients to function at its best.
Estrogen Changes and Why You Feel Exhausted
When estrogen starts fluctuating and declining:
- Sleep becomes lighter or more disrupted
- You wake up at 2–3am and can’t fall back asleep
- Your body doesn’t recover from workouts the same way
- Inflammation starts to increase
- Your tolerance for stress drops – right? You want to strangle everyone
So now you’re waking up tired…
going into your day already depleted…
and expecting yourself to perform the same way you did 5–10 years ago.
That’s not realistic.
Progesterone, Anxiety & Nervous System Overload
Progesterone is incredibly important for your nervous system.
But as it drops:
- Anxiety increases
- You feel more on edge
- Small things feel overwhelming
- You have less patience, less bandwidth
So now it’s not just physical fatigue…
It’s that constant feeling of: “I can’t handle one more thing.”
And yet—you’re still expecting yourself to meal prep, work out, stay on track, walk 10k steps, and take a million supplements.
The Missing Link: Testosterone
And then there’s testosterone. This is the missing link for a lot of women.
When testosterone is low:
- It’s not just your libido that dips
- Your drive and ambition typically disappear
- You don’t feel like pushing yourself
- Even things you used to enjoy now feel like effort
So when you say, “I just can’t get myself to go to the gym…or I just don’t have energy to work out”…
That’s not you being lazy; that’s your body saying “I need support”.
How Cortisol Keeps You Stuck
Now layer in cortisol. When your hormones are fluctuating and your body feels unstable, your stress response ramps up.
And over time, cortisol becomes dysregulated.
So now you’re dealing with:
- Crashing in the afternoon
- Needing sugar or caffeine to get through the day
- Feeling exhausted at night, but unable to fully relax and sleep
And this is where everything starts to compound (and what I see over and over in women):
You’re not sleeping well →
So your hunger hormones are off →
Now you’re craving sugar and quick energy →
Your blood sugar is all over the place →
Now your energy is inconsistent →
You skip workouts or you half ass them →
Now you feel frustrated and behind →
You start being harder on yourself →
Now your stress increases →
Your nervous system gets even more dysregulated →
And around and around we go. And we blame ourselves.
Why Women Blame Themselves
That’s the part that really bothers me.
Women are sitting there thinking:
“I used to be so disciplined.”
“Why can’t I just get my shit together?”
“Why does everything feel so hard?”
“Maybe it’s my mindset”
Sometimes that’s true, but more often than not – in your 40s and above, you are dealing with a different body – one whose hormones are not at optimal levels, you’ve likely been under-eating and overfunctioning for years.
My Own Experience With Depletion
And honestly, I went through this myself.
In my 30s, I was doing everything “right.”
I was working out consistently.
Getting my steps in.
Eating protein.
Taking supplements.
Doing all the wellness things.
But internally?
I felt like I was drowning.
I was exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, not sleeping well, and constantly feeling like I needed to push harder just to function normally.
And because I came from the health world, my immediate response was:
“What else do I need to do?”
More discipline.
More supplements.
More optimization.
But eventually I had to be honest with myself that my body was depleted.
Supporting my hormones, slowing down a bit, reassessing the pace I was living at, looking at boundaries, stress… all of that mattered.
And honestly, HRT was a really important piece for me..
Not because hormones magically fix everything.
But because they gave me enough stability and resilience to actually follow through on the lifestyle habits that support health long term.
Why Most Wellness Advice Falls Short
This is where most advice falls short – there is way too much emphasis on:
- Discipline
- Consistency
- “Getting it done” mentality
Without any consideration of what your body is actually dealing with in this phase of life.
And again—I’m not saying those things don’t matter.
But they don’t work the same way when your hormones are depleted and your body is under constant stress.
Why You Need Both Hormone Support and Lifestyle Changes
This is not about choosing between HRT or lifestyle changes.
You need both. But…
For some women, the starting point has to be different.
Because if you have:
- No energy
- No motivation or drive
- High anxiety
- Crappy sleep
You’re not going to suddenly become consistent just because you “decide to.”
What Actually Helps You Feel Better
You’ll become more consistent when you…
- Support hormones (yes, that means consideration of hormone replacement therapy) –
- Stabilizing blood sugar so your energy is more consistent – yes, that means your addressing your diet
- Supporting your nervous system so you feel a bit calmer – this is where boundaries come in, saying no more often, assessing how you spend your time and energy
- Replenishing nutrients that are often depleted from years of under-eating and chronic stress
And then…
And when you’re feeling better, that’s when you can dial in on macro tracking, strength training, and being more consistent – from a place where your body can actually respond.
Otherwise, you’re just gonna stay on this hamster wheel, symptoms are going to get louder, you’re not going to achieve the results you want – especially if weight loss is a goal.
Consistency Becomes Easier When Your Body Is Supported
Taking care of yourself should not feel like a constant uphill battle.
It’s not supposed to feel this hard to:
If it does…that’s information that you don’t want to ignore.
So if you’ve been beating yourself up…
Thinking you’re lazy, unmotivated, or not disciplined enough…
I want you to pause and ask:
Is my body actually supported right now?
Because when you’re adequately supported…consistency becomes possible.
And that’s when you can start to see changes in your body and how you feel day to day.
How We Support Women Inside The Perimenopause Method
This is exactly what we help women with inside The Perimenopause Method.
We’re not just telling you what you should be doing—
We’re looking at what your body can actually handle right now – and how to get you from exhausted, unmotivated and depleted…to energized, motivated to make changes & feeling like yourself again.
OK my friend I hope that was helpful to you – check out the link in the show notes to apply to work with us, be sure to leave a rating & review and share this with a friend who needs the support.
Claudia Petrilli is a Functional Health Coach, Integrative Nutrition Coach, Women’s Health Educator, and creator of The Perimenopause Method. Having experienced debilitating periods, digestive issues, a sluggish thyroid, a pituitary tumor, and perimenopause symptoms in her late 30s, she knows exactly what it’s like to get dismissed by doctors and spend years searching for answers.
