87. Redefining Yourself Over 40: One Bold Move at a Time Even When It Feels Scary
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Feeling stuck or craving change lately? In this episode, Claudia shares how a simple impulsive hair-dye moment became a reminder that midlife is the perfect season to reinvent yourself.
Whether it’s changing careers, reconnecting with your partner, starting a new workout routine, or simply saying yes to what you’ve been putting off – this episode helps you rediscover who you are beyond the roles you’ve played.
Learn how to build self-trust, embrace change without fear, and find confidence after 40 – one bold move at a time.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Why midlife is the ideal time for reinvention and rediscovery
- How fear keeps women stuck in “safe but stagnant” routines
- Real-life examples of small changes that reignite confidence
- Simple ways to experiment without overhauling your entire life
- Reflection prompts to help you identify where you’re craving change
- How honoring your desires creates momentum and self-trust
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Impulsive Hair Dye & an Unexpected Reminder
I just got back from vacation in Florida with my man, Mike, and something funny happened before we left: I semi-impulsively dyed my hair because I was overdue for a trip to the salon, but I decided to do it at home to save time and you know, the $300 that it typically costs.
I thought it would be just a bit darker to match my roots…but it came out pretty dark – as you can see if you’re watching on YouTube.
But honestly? I kind of love it. It’s fun for fall and Mike likes it too.
And it did get me thinking, while I was lounging by the pool: how often do we resist change, even when it’s exactly what we need?
Today I want to talk about how midlife can be this incredible season of change – if you stop letting fear make your decisions for you.
The Little Changes That Mean Something Bigger
So yeah, the hair dye situation. It was one of those “why not?” moments and even though it’s just hair, it symbolizes something deeper.
Because in midlife, a lot of women start to feel this pull to do something different. To shake things up. But we often ignore it.
We tell ourselves we’ll wait until things settle down, or the kids are older, or when we have more time or money — but that day rarely comes.
I hear it all the time from women in my community:
- “I wish I could quit my job, sell everything and move”
- “I wish my husband and I connected more.”
- “I no longer feel excited about life.”
Or excuses like…
- “I’m too old to start a business”
- I don’t have time to workout or start a new routine
- What if I don’t like that new job?
Why Women Resist Change
And I get it. Change can feel scary. Especially when you’ve spent decades being the dependable one — the mom, the wife, the professional, the woman who keeps it all together.
But sometimes: change is the most grounded, self-honoring thing you can do.
Because in my opinion, there’s nothing worse than staying stuck – and unhappy. Especially because it can start to impact your health & wellbeing.
Midlife is when your hormones shift, your patience for bullshit drops, and you start asking, “What do I actually want?”
Your body changes, your energy changes, and so do your priorities.
How Change Has Been Showing Up in My Life
For me, this has shown up in a bunch of ways lately.
Mike and I just spent a week away – we’ve been talking about taking more time off. Not working through vacations. Not bringing my laptop with me. Having more fun and reconnecting. We’ve been together over 16 years, and it takes intention to keep the connection alive.
At home, I’ve been changing up my environment. We got new bedding, added faux leather pillows that I’m loving, putting fresh flowers on the dining room table — small, inexpensive changes that make the space feel more like me – and have such a positive impact on how I feel.
Even though men don’t always notice small details, Mike has been commenting on the changes in our home, saying it feels calm, cozy and welcoming.
I also started Rebellion Body workouts to build more muscle — and I’m really loving them. That sense of progress and strength feels so empowering.
And career-wise? I’ve shared that I made changes to the business – like posting less on social media, cutting expenses, simplifying our offers, and even changing my work hours.
Maybe you’ve been craving something new, too. Going back to school, getting certified in something different, starting a side business, or finally stepping into a leadership role that you’ve been wanting.
I even started reading less health books – and more fiction for FUN. I used to put so much pressure on myself to constantly learn. And of course I still make time for that, but with much better balance. Because if I don’t fill my cup, my clients and those of you listening to the podcast won’t get the best of me.
What Really Holds Us Back
There are many ways you can reinvent yourself in midlife.
But what holds most of us back is fear — fear of judgment, fear of failing, or even fear of outgrowing people. Whether it’s a friend, family member or even your partner. And that of course, can feel scary.
You may be stuck in a really unhealthy relationship. And I’ll be the first to say please work on it before quitting. What’s that saying ”The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s green where you water it.”
I also know that if BOTH partners aren’t willing to do “the work”, sometimes you do need to step away.
But…it’s not always about making these massive, dramatic changes, especially not overnight. It’s about giving yourself permission to experiment.
Small, Safe Experiments That Build Confidence
Maybe it’s dyeing your hair. Redecorating your space. Trying a new type of workout. Taking a class with your partner to improve your relationship. Mike and I recently watched an online workshop from Jake Woodard and his wife Melissa. I’ve mentioned them in previous episodes. You may not agree with everything they say, but I encourage you to be open-minded, especially if you desire change in your relationship.
Or maybe it’s finally focusing on your health and working with us in The Perimenopause Method. You can learn more and apply via the link in the show notes.
The point is: you don’t need to know the entire roadmap ahead of you — you just need to take one step at a time to get momentum going.
Why Change Feels Uncomfortable
Now, I do want to cover WHY change feels so uncomfortable….
Most people don’t resist change because they’re lazy or unmotivated; they resist it because it feels unsafe.
Your nervous system is wired to protect you. So even if you’re miserable in your current situation: that stressful job, the disconnected relationship, or the same old habits – they are familiar. And the familiar feels safer than the unknown.
That’s why change can trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Your body senses uncertainty as a threat, even when logically you know it’s time for something new.
The key is not to overhaul everything overnight. Take one small, grounded action that tells your body, “I’m safe. I can handle this.” Start small…like:
— Trying a new workout.
— Speaking up for yourself in a conversation.
— Saying no to an invitation
— Update your environment
— Try a new morning ritual that actually nourishes you
These small changes build trust within your nervous system, and over time, that helps to build your confidence and sense of safety.
Because the truth is: if you’re unhappy where you are, nothing changes if nothing changes.
And staying “comfortable” often costs you more than taking that leap ever will.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Midlife really can be a time when you focus on yourself a bit more. So maybe it’s time to ask:
- What part of me is craving something new?
- Where have I been playing it too safe out of fear?
- What would happen if I stopped overthinking – and just started?
You may be surprised how good it feels to say yes to something different.
So whether it’s a new hair color, a new habit, or a whole new direction — let it be a reminder that you’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to want more joy, more adventure or even just more down time. That’s not a midlife crisis – that is growth.
Thanks for listening and please share this with a woman who needs a bit of encouragement. Until next time…
Claudia Petrilli is a Functional Health Coach, Integrative Nutrition Coach, Women’s Health Educator, and creator of The Perimenopause Method program. Having experienced debilitating periods, digestive issues, a sluggish thyroid, a pituitary tumor, and perimenopause symptoms in her late 30s, she knows exactly what it’s like to get dismissed by doctors and spend years searching for answers.
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