80. Losing Motivation? What High-Achieving Women 40+ Need to Know

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Have you noticed that your ambition and motivation aren’t what they used to be? You’re not alone. Many women over 40 – even the most successful, driven, high-achieving women – find themselves feeling flat, tired, and unmotivated.

In this episode of Perimenopause Simplified, I break down why this happens and what you can do about it. From the powerful role hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone play in your energy and drive, to the collective burnout we’re all facing in today’s world, this conversation is about reclaiming your health, simplifying, and redefining success in midlife.

We covered:

• How perimenopause and midlife hormone shifts impact motivation, energy, and ambition
• Why low estrogen and testosterone can leave women feeling flat and disconnected 
• Collective burnout: social media, world stress, and endless responsibilities 
• My personal story of simplifying business, prioritizing self-care, and rethinking motivation
• Practical steps to support your hormones, redefine success, and get your drive back

Link Mentioned:

Ona’s Natural T-Boost 

When Ambition Fades in Midlife

Maybe you used to be really ambitious, the woman doing it all, the boss babe. The one who thrived on big goals, built a career, managed family life, and still had energy for workouts and social events. But now? You feel flat. Drained. Unmotivated.

You’re not imagining it. You’re not alone. And there are reasons this happens, so I’m going to break it down.

The Collective Burnout We’re All Feeling

Before we even get into hormones and the physical reasons, I want to acknowledge something: at the time of this recording it’s Monday, Sep. 15th. Last week was rough in the US, and quite frankly, it’s been rough for awhile – pretty much since COVID in 2020. Things just haven’t been the same. 

So collectively, we are exhausted.

We’re living in a time where the news is one tragedy after another. Social media makes it feel like watching someone suffer is just another type of content that we scroll past. We’re normalizing traumatic events. Families are divided, friendships strained, and we’re still carrying all the responsibilities of midlife — raising kids, caring for parents, managing our careers, keeping our home in tip top shape, meal prepping and doing what you can to support your own health..

No wonder so many women just want to lay down, quit their job or disappear for awhile. That isn’t weakness. It’s burnout stacked on top of a shifting body. And I feel it too. Last week I talked about how I needed to increase my own progesterone dose b/c I’m feeling more stressed, more irritable and worrying more than usual. 

And it’s no wonder why. All of this is too much for us to handle. As a business owner who utilizes social media, I’m finding it harder and harder to show up there in an attempt to protect my mental health. 

This is a big reason I started the podcast – not only to reach more of you so you get the education you need to support yourself, but it allows you to focus and listen or watch with more context vs. small sound bites or clips on social media, where the message gets lost. So I will continue to show up for you here and I really do my best to bring value so please leave a rating, review and share with other women.

How Hormones Impact Drive and Motivation

Now let’s talk about what’s happening physically. Hormones aren’t just about reproduction — they run your brain chemistry, your energy, and your drive.

• When estrogen dips, you lose the brain-boosting effects it has on serotonin and dopamine – your feel good neurotransmitters. That means lower mood, lower energy, and less resilience.
  
  
• Testosterone is not just about sex drive. It’s about ambition, motivation, competitiveness, and that ‘get shit done’ energy. When it’s low, you stop feeling that fire to chase goals.
  
  
• Progesterone is calm and stabilizes. But when it’s too low, you feel anxious and restless. When it’s too high — or not balanced properly with estrogen — you feel sedated, flat, almost apathetic.
  
  

So if you’ve been feeling like a shadow of yourself, like you’re watching your ambition fade — it’s not all in your head. Your hormones are literally influencing how motivated you feel and it can show up as boredom with your career, lack of excitement, even disinterest in hobbies or things that used to bring you joy.

Is It Lack of Motivation… Or a Wake-Up Call?

But here’s the bigger question: is this really a lack of motivation, or is it a wake-up call?

For so long, many of us have been burning the candle at both ends — proving our worth, over-functioning, hustling, chasing money to buy things we don’t really need, or running ourselves ragged for approval.

What if midlife is the point where our body says: enough?
What if this is less about losing drive, and more about creating a life that actually feels good instead of one that just looks good on paper?

Redefining Success in Midlife

As I’ve shared on previous episodes, the last year or so I’ve really been reflecting on my own life and business.

I used to think success meant building a bigger business, hitting higher revenue, adding more team members. But I realized I was draining myself to keep up with thousands of dollars in expenses every month: complicated platforms, systems, payroll. I felt like I was on a hamster wheel just to keep things running. And it wasn’t fun anymore.

So I cut back. I simplified. I stopped trying to run my business like some big corporation and brought it back to what feels sustainable and good to ME. Not what someone else is doing or telling me to do. And guess what? The business is still successful. Women are still being served. I’m reaching even more of you via the podcast. But I’m no longer killing myself to cover costs.

At the same time, I started prioritizing myself again: aiming for more sleep, spending more time with Mike, scheduling date nights, connecting with nature, and even finding joy in small things like an adult coloring book after dinner a few times per week. Mike and I recently went to a new Barnes & Noble store that opened by us. And I bought a Halloween themed coloring book and I love it. It sounds silly, but it’s very grounding and calming to me.

Reassessing Hormones and Trying New Approaches

And yes, I’ve also been reassessing my physical health, especially my hormones. I’m on estrogen and progesterone, and I’ve shared that I was on testosterone for about a year. But it just made me feel androgenic — and I didn’t notice enough positive benefits so I stopped for a bit.

I will be trying a DHEA cream from Ona’s Natural. DHEA is a “mother hormone” that converts into testosterone or estrogen – normally in the past, I’ve steered women away from it b/c we don’t know what it will convert to. But my hope is that my body will recognize which hormone is low (and in my case, it’s testosterone currently based on testing multiple times) and convert it properly. The body is smart and we don’t give it enough credit. Now, the dose is a little higher than most DHEA options on the market (and yes, you can buy this over the counter without a prescription, so I’ll link to the one I’m using in the show notes). But I like this brand in terms of quality and I mentioned I like that they have adequate dosing for their progesterone creams which is very hard to find in an OTC brand. Most are too low dose.

So I’m starting slow and will see how I respond. I’m hoping I don’t experience androgenic symptoms again like oily hair, skin, deeper voice – all things I noticed when I was on testosterone cream. Some women don’t experience that at all. But like I always say, we are all unique and HRT is a process that requires patience. 

My goal isn’t to push myself into overdrive again. I want a bit more energy and steady motivation, not an aggressive overly ambitious energy where I end up overdoing it like I have in the past.

What You Can Do if You’re Feeling Unmotivated

So what can you do if you’re feeling unmotivated? Here are a few starting points:

1. Assess your hormones: you don’t need some fancy hormone test – blood work is sufficient and how we help our clients determine their needs; we look at markers like estradiol, total and free testosterone, DHEA, SHBG, and so on. The data does help when you’re trying to assess symptoms and next steps.
   
   
2. Simplify your life: cut back where you can. Ask: does this drain me or energize me? How am I spending my time & energy every day? Something Mike and I are playing with is no phones at night and 1 day on the weekend. Basically where we’ll keep it upstairs or turned off for the majority of the day.
   
   
3. Prioritize rest: sleep is not optional in midlife. Treat it like medicine, even if it’s a nap because you didn’t get a full night.
   
   
4. Find small joys: a hobby, coloring, gardening, reading — things that calm and ground you.
   
   
5. Redefine success: it doesn’t have to mean constant growth. It can mean sustainability, peace, simplifying, and putting energy into what matters the most.

Final Takeaway

Here’s what I want you to remember: if you’ve lost your motivation, you’re in a new season — one that asks for different support, both physically and emotionally.

If you’re ready to get your energy and drive back in a way that feels more aligned with this stage of life, this is what we help women with inside The Perimenopause Method. We look at your hormones, your minerals, your lifestyle, and your overall health so you can stop dragging yourself through the day – and start feeling like YOU again.

Check out the link in the show notes for details. And if this episode resonated, share it with another woman who needs to hear it,

Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next time.

Claudia Petrilli is a Functional Health Coach, Integrative Nutrition Coach, Women’s Health Educator, and creator of The Perimenopause Method program. Having experienced debilitating periods, digestive issues, a sluggish thyroid, a pituitary tumor, and perimenopause symptoms in her late 30s, she knows exactly what it’s like to get dismissed by doctors and spend years searching for answers. 

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