53. Is Stress Killing Your Libido? What to Do About It
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In this episode, Claudia discusses how stress, mineral depletion, and lack of healthy communication with your partner are to blame for your low libido – not just your hormones. If you’ve been dealing with a low sex drive and want to understand the steps to take to improve it, you’ll definitely want to listen to this episode.
In this episode, we covered:
- How chronic stress disrupts hormones and depletes nutrients
- How high cortisol impacts your sex hormones and ability to relax
- Why you need to lessen control and slow down
- The mineral imbalances that contribute to low libido
- Why supporting your adrenals is a must
- How dysregulated blood sugar impacts libido & more
Ready to Ignite Your Libido? Grab my LIMITED-TIME OFFER HERE, which includes my Ignite Your Libido course + Hair Tissue Mineral Analysis (HTMA) test + to address micronutrient imbalances, so you can revamp your energy, vitality & libido!
If you’ve been feeling “off” when it comes to your libido—like sex is the last thing on your mind, or maybe you desire to want it but just can’t get there—this episode is for you.
By the way, if you’re watching this on YT, make sure you subscribe to my podcast on Apple or Spotify as well, because I don’t create videos for every episode and I don’t want you to miss out!
The Link Between Stress and Libido
OK…we’re diving into something that kills libido real fast – and that is stress. Specifically, how chronic stress disrupts your hormones, depletes your minerals, and shuts down your body’s ability to relax, connect, and feel desire.
So, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, snappy, exhausted, or just completely meh about intimacy, stay with me—because this episode should help.
Surprising Statistics About Sex in Midlife
Before I dive in, here are some interesting findings from a recent study:
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44% of men and women aged 40 to 49 reported having sex with a partner weekly
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40% of women aged 40 and older rate their desire for sex as “lower than average”
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20.4% of women aged 45 to 54 have been sexless for the past year and 9.2% have been sexless for five years
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36% of women aged 40 and older report that they are not having sex often enough
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57% of women aged 40 and older reported that “sex is an essential element of a good relationship.”
So, a lot of us believe sex is important. But while women may be more sexually liberated in their 40s and beyond, their levels of estrogen and testosterone are declining, which can result in a lower libido. But there’s more to the story than just hormones.
A Few Key Considerations Before We Dive In
Before I jump into how stress is impacting you, I want to say a few things:
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While talking to your friends about your sex life can feel helpful, comparing yourself to them isn’t. Your “normal” may be different from someone else’s, and it’s important to have these discussions with your partner first and foremost.
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Your partner’s health plays a big role, too. They need to address underlying imbalances like thyroid function, insulin resistance, metabolic health, and (for men) declining testosterone levels.
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Sex is about pleasure—not just for your partner, but for you as well, so let’s make sure you’re actually enjoying it.
How Stress Hijacks Your Libido
Your body is designed to prioritize survival over pleasure—which makes total sense if you’re running from a tiger. But in today’s world, the “tigers” are:
- Overloaded schedules
- Never-ending to-do lists
- Emotional stress from family, relationships, or work
- Lack of sleep
- Poor nutrition
- Inflammation and other underlying issues
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between an actual life-threatening emergency and chronic stress from daily life—so it responds the same way: by pumping out cortisol, your main stress hormone. Here’s what happens:
- High cortisol suppresses progesterone, which is your calming, feel-good hormone. This makes you feel more anxious, irritable, and unable to truly relax for anything, but especially intimacy.
- It also disrupts estrogen and testosterone production (and we’re already losing these hormones in perimenopause). Estrogen helps with vaginal lubrication and sensitivity, while testosterone fuels desire and drive. If these get thrown off, you might feel dry, disconnected, or just “not in the mood.”
- Your nervous system shifts into fight-or-flight mode. When you’re stuck in this state, your body won’t prioritize blood flow to the reproductive organs—which means less sensation and harder time achieving an orgasm.
- It makes you more masculine in your energy. High stress puts you into “control mode”—always planning, fixing, and doing. But desire and intimacy thrive in a state of feminine energy, where you feel safe, open, and able to receive pleasure. Go back to Episode #33 to learn more about this.
So if you’ve been feeling constantly on edge, overwhelmed, or just unable to shift into an intimate, connected state with your partner—stress could absolutely be at the root of it. In fact, I’d bet it’s a huge part.
We’re all under so much stress nowadays and we really do have to learn how to create healthy boundaries, start saying “no”, be mindful of what and who we expose ourselves to, and prioritize the things that are important to us like our health and relationships. I don’t know that there’s anything more important.
How Minerals Play a Role
Now, let’s talk about minerals—because minerals are known as the “spark plugs of life” and stress burns through them quickly.
When you’re under constant stress, your body dumps sodium, potassium, and magnesium at an alarming rate. Here’s what that means for your libido:
- Magnesium deficiency: causing more tension, anxiety, and poor sleep. If you can’t relax, your body won’t feel safe enough to switch into intimacy mode.
- Low sodium and potassium: causing nervous system dysregulation. These minerals help your adrenal glands function properly, so if they’re depleted, you’ll feel tired but wired—and completely disconnected from pleasure.
- Calcium shell formation: causing emotional shut-down. When stress is long-term, your body can pull calcium from bones and deposit it in soft tissues, creating a calcium shell. This can make you feel numb, withdrawn, and resistant to intimacy. It can also cause physical pain in the body.
Why HTMA Testing Matters
This is why HTMA (hair tissue mineral analysis) is so powerful—it shows us how stress has affected your minerals and where you need support.
Special Offer: Ignite Your Libido + HTMA Testing
This month, I’m running a special promotion on my Ignite Your Libido course + HTMA testing package. This 8-week program helps you boost libido, feel in control of your body, and bring passion back into your life. It includes:
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Ignite Your Libido Course
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HTMA Test + Interpretation so we can do a deep dive into mineral imbalances that may be affecting your energy, mood, and libido
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Personalized Plan with clear steps tailored to your results
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8 Weeks of Group Support to address your specific questions.
Grab my LIMITED-TIME OFFER HERE
Practical Steps to Support Your Libido
Support Your Adrenals with Minerals
- Prioritize sodium and potassium (electrolytes, adrenal cocktails)
- Take magnesium glycinate to help your body relax (I like mix of oral and topical)
Balance Your Blood Sugar + Eat a Nutrient-Dense Diet
- Dysregulated blood sugar is another stress on the body, so make sure you’re eating enough and eating a good balance of protein, fat, complex carbs or fiber
Shift Out of Fight-or-Flight Mode
- Deep belly breathing (inhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, exhale 8 seconds) signals to your brain that you’re safe.
- Grounding exercises like walking barefoot outside or using an acupressure mat can help regulate your nervous system.
- Prioritize sleep & rest—because if you’re running on empty, your libido will take a backseat; if you’re tired, which is so common in peri, take a nap
Rebalance Your Feminine Energy
- Let go of control mode and practice receiving—whether it’s allowing your partner to take care of something for you, accepting compliments, or simply surrendering to relaxation.
- Slow down! Pleasure doesn’t happen on a tight schedule. Build in downtime, pleasure-based activities, and be playful; so many couples lose this and laughter is the best medicine and brings you closer
- Practice sensory awareness—start implementing things that get you in the mood – certain fabrics like silky sheets, warm bath or shower with your partner, self massage or ask your partner to massage you, play tantric music, lower lights in your home, light some candles—all of these help signal to your body that it’s okay to relax and enjoy.
Your Libido Isn’t Broken
If you’ve been feeling like your libido has disappeared, or if stress is making intimacy feel like a chore, here’s what I recommend:
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Check out my Ignite Your Libido course for insights into nourishing your body and optimizing hormones.
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Get your minerals tested with HTMA, which is included with the course, to get a clear picture of where you need support.
So if you want personalized insights on your minerals PLUS a plan to rebuild your libido, now is the perfect time to jump in. You can find all the details via the link in the show notes. And of course, if you have any questions, feel free to reach out!
Listen, your libido isn’t broken. It’s just waiting for you to create the right conditions for it to thrive. By supporting your minerals, lowering stress, and shifting into a state of receiving, you can feel that spark again.
Thanks for tuning in today! If this episode resonated with you, be sure to share it with a friend, leave a review, and subscribe so you don’t miss next week’s episode.
Until next time, take care of yourself—and hope to work with you soon!
Links Mentioned
Cure Hydration Electrolytes (save 20% with code: healthcoachclaudia)
Dr. Rena Malik Testosterone Video
Episode 33: Is Masculine Energy Impacting Your Perimenopause Symptoms?
Claudia Petrilli is a Functional Health Coach, Integrative Nutrition Coach, Women’s Health Educator, and creator of The Hormone Rescue program. Having experienced debilitating periods, digestive issues, a sluggish thyroid, a pituitary tumor, and perimenopause symptoms in her late 30s, she knows exactly what it’s like to get dismissed by doctors and spend years searching for answers.
Free Resources:
Peri-What?! The Must-Have Guide for Navigating Hormone Changes in Your 40s
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Connect with Claudia:
Have a question or episode topic suggestion? Please email: claudia@claudiapetrilli.com.
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